By Robert Singer

February 12 marked the 203rd anniversary of the birth of Charles Darwin, the British naturalist who developed the “theory” that life began in a primordial soup because some birds (i.e. finches) had long curved beaks so they could get fat eating tiny bugs on the Galapagos Islands.

Darwin came up with his “theory” because of the cruel death of his ten-year-old daughter Annie and his inability to reconcile the existence of death and disease with the character of a loving God.

Charles Darwin on the Ouija Channel

Professor Richard Dawkins, one of the greatest living “experts” on blind Watchmakers and selfish gene-centric Evolution got out his Ouija Board to channel the spirit of Charles Darwin, author of The Origin of Species and the father of Naturalism and Atheism.

Contacting Darwin was considered of a dangerous and controversial nature because if his current residence is Hell then a whole lot of evolutionary biologists will be out of work.

Dawkins and company agreed it was worth the risk because there aren’t enough Evolutionists to rip out the pages of one million copies of Ray Comforts new book linking Darwin and Natural Selection to Hitler.

Richard Dawkins (RD) was the designated medium and Niles Eldredge took the following notes.

Everyone placed their fingers on the planchette and Mr. Dawkins asked the Ouija board the burning question, “Charles, are you in Hell?”

Spirit Response: “The subscriber you are trying to reach out of range, planchette will now channel hypothetically.”

What follows is pure Unadulterated Unverified Nonsense and reflects my belief that the scientific arguments and rational thinking of Intelligent Design is a thirst-quenching alternative from the obdurate (obstinate) Evolutionists whose only motivation is to eliminate God.

Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Since Charles Darwin, Richard Dawkins or Niles Eldredge never attended a channeling session, neither of them could endorse these views, which may or may not prove to be correct.

RD: Mr. Darwin, everyone wants to know if there are any Evolutionists in Foxholes?

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