Photo is from this June 2005 Fleming, Vanunu interview

Mordechai Vanunu's historic freedom of speech trial which began in January 2006 will resume when the Israeli government is ready.

During my first interview with Vanunu in June 2005, I have no clue what prompted me to ask Vanunu had he always been stubborn, but he only took a few moments before he responded, "When I was 13 years old I got mad at my parents and decided I would punish them. I began my first hunger strike and it lasted three days. My parents acted like they didn't care and not until I got very weak did I get their attention. I also remember getting really mad at my mother before a Jewish holiday. I had new clothes I wanted to wear on Friday night but she insisted I wait until the morrow. We locked horns but she had the power and won in the end. I fumed the entire evening.

"In 1963 the Zionists came to my village and encouraged everyone to migrate to Israel. There was no family discussion, my father just told us we were leaving and six months later we boarded the train to Casablanca and got on a World War II military ship. The ship kept going up and down and everyone was crammed into an open space and people everywhere kept throwing up. After four days we arrived in Marseilles. This was a great place but we had to leave for Israel. The next boat was bigger and modern and the journey was smoother. When we arrived in Israel the Interior Minister assigned us to Beersheba but all the rest of our family had been assigned to Nazareth and we wanted to go there too. We had no choice and home was a small hut in the desert. There was nothing in it and we had nothing much with us.

"After a few days my mother left for Nazareth, it was chaos and we had nothing to do to occupy us. Outside, there was only desert but I walked a few hours every day so I could be in the Old City. I started exploring around a Mexican looking town, never talking with anyone but I was always watching everyone. Three weeks later my mother returned and then my Uncle Joseph arrived and took us up north to see some more newly arrived family. We stayed for two months then moved into a new apartment in Beersheba. I went to the fifth grade and met a few friends but they were strange people. They were Romanians and a lot of Middle Easterners who used bad language and seemed cheap to me. Even the school supplies were inferior from what I had in Morocco. Even the ice cream was not ice cream, it was just ice and there was no Pepsi. I didn't like it at all and wondered why did I have to be here?

"There were only Jewish people around, I never saw an Arab or Palestinian then, and the old mosque was uninhabited. My mother had babies every two years. I preferred to be alone, but I was never lonely. Even when I walked with my father on Saturday to pray, I didn't talk, but I wondered about God and truth. My father became even more orthodox as I turned away. I couldn't accept all the teachings and decided I would not accept any of them. At fourteen years old I began to doubt and by 16, I left Judaism for good. I didn't know if God even existed and I didn't even care. I decided I would decide for myself what is good and bad, I didn't need anyone telling me the rules. For me it was about doing to others what I wanted them to do to me, I didn't need any other rule…. I was sent to Yeshiva, the Jewish boarding school in the Old City. I experienced a great disconnect from God. I didn't talk to anyone about any of it. I kept everything within and continued to wonder about finding my way, my direction and the purpose of my life. I have always searched for answers. I kept my mouth shut about not following the faith and excelled in secular studies. With everything else, I just went through the motions…in the 11th grade two friends and I were listening to the radio. This is a big sin and crime to use electricity on the Sabbath. The rabbi caught us and called my father to come get me and when we had almost reached our house, I smelled that he was going to beat me so I ran the five meters back to school without looking back. The next day the rabbi sent me for an intensive one week of Jewish studies. I was angry for the entire week. After that I returned back to my boarding room. My two friends and I had become outcasts; we were forever ignored by the other students…. The isolation became very comfortable and I began walking in the desert alone every night without any fear. I would just walk around and imagine that I would find my way, have some success.

"I passed all my classes except for English and Hebrew studies. At 18 years old I had my mind and health checked by the Israeli army doctors and was assigned to be a pilot. But I failed the hand - eye coordination and was assigned to the Navy instead. Three weeks later they sent me to the Engineering Unit where I learned about land mines, bridges and explosives. I started training with fifty others and was the most unenthusiastic of the bunch. I stood back from it all and saw it as if it were just playing stupid games. Most everyone else was serious, but I just didn't care, all I could see was the futility…

"The day I left home for the service, my mother walked me to the bus. She gave me all the Jewish stuff; you know the phylacteries? The leather straps for the head and left arm? I put it all aside until I got my first leave, then I returned it all home and never said a word about it. I never spoke with my parents about rejecting their faith…. When I was in prison my mother came to me and told me that I was suffering because I was a Christian. I know I caused them a lot of pain and they have suffered because of my case. I forgive them even though they rejected me and my Christian faith. I have always thought for myself and made up my own mind…

"As a young boy I thought too many of the rules of Judaism were of no use. Like you can't mix meat and cheese together. Well, the first time I did, nothing happened so then I began turning on the lights on Saturday. I tried to experience everything that had been forbidden. That first Yom Kippur I didn't fast, didn't pray and felt totally free for the first time in my life."

When Vanunu speaks he maintains eye contact, but when I asked him if he then began to have some fun, he looked away for about five minutes before he responded, "No, still no fun, but finally met some secular Jews and traveled freely as a soldier and served in the occupied territories near Bethlehem. I would make treks of 15 miles through villages and felt how poor the people were under occupation and how they suffered without reason, except for the reason of injustice. In the 1970's Israel built many fortresses and spent lots of money on equipment, but nothing on the people I saw who were oppressed and under occupation. I got really mad and upset every time I thought about how much money they wasted, but I kept my mouth shut and kept it all to myself. After a year I finished my training and was assigned to train more soldiers. For me it was all futility and waste, I saw these children become soldiers and thought what a complete waste. When the Yom Kippur War broke out I was home on leave. I returned the next day to my station near Ramallah. Soldiers with less than a month of training got called to go with me to the Jordan Valley. There weren't enough trained troops and we were lucky we didn't see any fighting and got to return to base after three days. After a few months we all went to Syria and the Golan Heights. When Kissinger coordinated the ceasefire, the Israeli army destroyed the area before leaving there. I was promoted to First Sergeant and they wanted me to re-up. I said no.

"I began my studies at Tel Aviv University when I was 21. I studied Physics until the army called me up for 30 days' reserve service. When I returned to school, I couldn't catch up. I worked in a bakery at night and attended class all day. This was the first time I met Palestinians as human beings. I began attending political demonstrations inside the university. It was all about equal human rights and respecting all others. By the time I was 23 I began working at the Dimona. It was suppose to be a textile plant but I was hired for the control room. At the time I had no idea what it was in control of. I really didn't even want the job; I tried to get them not to hire me. On the application they asked if I knew any Palestinians. As I had an acquaintance I said yes, hoping it would disqualify me from employment. They accepted me anyway. And I watched them as closely as they watched me. I began studying philosophy and geography and read literature.

"I began wondering more about life and politics. I decided to become a hermit and vegetarian. I lived alone but never was lonely. It wasn't ever fun but I enjoy the quiet. I was never sad but never happy either. After a year I got bored with the routine job at the Dimona and wanted to leave. I went to Beersheba University and studied economics for a year. I became involved in university politics and in student unions. I was all about protecting Palestinian students' rights. I sided with Palestinians more and more and was invited to help establish a group of Palestinian and Jewish students for peace and justice. This was also the time I found out that it was dangerous for me to speak the truth. I was being watched, but I continued to express myself anyway. After six months I got called in by security at the Dimona and they asked me, 'Can you imagine why you are here?'

"I answered because of my university activity? They then questioned me about all my contacts and told me to stop, that I was in danger. I told them I would try, but I knew I would continue on because it was the right cause and I will not hide my thoughts.

"After five months they called me in again and demanded I stop my activities. A few months later the Chief security man took me to the Tel Aviv Secret Room where the Israeli army security officer grilled me. They told me I could get 15 years in prison if I didn't stop my university activities. I left the meeting and walked to a Palestinian bookstore knowing they were watching me. That night I wrote in my diary: '1/85. I should have finished this job at Dimona before now. Time to quit'…

"I finished the university with a BA in philosophy and geography and made plans to leave Israel and begin a new life in America. In August of 1985 I was put on a list of people who should be dismissed from the Dimona. They were laying off 10% but when they told me I was going I confronted them with 'Why are you dismissing me? I am a good worker; you are getting rid of me for political reasons, aren't you?'

"The union protected me and after two months they told me they were transferring me to a less secure area. I told them I would stay where I was or else I would resign. They said, 'OK, resign.' And I did. I had already shot the two rolls of film. I worked the night shift and had lots of time alone. I found the keys to the restricted areas in the shower room. I left the film a few days in my locker before taking it out of the Dimona. I knew they were watching me. I left Israel in January of 1986 and went to search for someone to share my story with. I didn't develop the film until six months later. I was waiting until I found a newspaper that would cover the story. I met a Canadian author on my way to Greece, but nothing came of it. I traveled to Athens, Bangkok, and then went to Russia. I was 30 years old in a Moscow hotel wondering if I should tell my story to the Russians. I decided to leave instead. The reason I had arrived there was that before I left the Dimona I had checked out the Palestinian Communist Party to see how the communists worked. I was curious and wondered about once I left Israel, that maybe they would help me. But when I witnessed the poverty and nothing but military cars everywhere I decided to get out of there.

"I went to the Far East and met some people who had run away from Chernobyl and I told them about the Dimona. Two weeks later I arrived in Sydney and stayed for six months. I went to St. John Anglican church and became friends with the people I met there. I got a job driving a taxi and met a freelance journalist named Gervevo, I told him my story and he was enthusiastic to help me get it out. He thought I wanted to make money on it but I told him I just wanted to prevent a nuclear war and contribute to a positive change in the Middle East. Then I met Peter Hounam, the journalist from the London Sunday Times.

"I really had no idea what I was doing by getting baptized a Christian, I just felt like I had to do it. It was my way to be a new being. It wasn't until after my trial that I started to read the New Testament. While I was in prison I would read aloud for ½ hour twice a day. I would read the entire New Testament and begin it again when I finished the Book of Revelation. I did this for me as well as for my captors. Not so much the prison guards but the ones who watched me on camera 24 hours a day. Once I covered up the camera that spied on me and was punished for one month in solitary without any books or radio, no contact with anyone anywhere was allowed.

"The Shen Beet, you know like the FBI and the Mossad, like your CIA were watching me constantly. They tortured me by keeping a light on in my cell constantly for two years. They told me it was because they were afraid I would commit suicide, and the oppressive camera was for my safety. They recruited the guards and other prisoners to irritate me. They would deprive me of sleep by making loud noises near my cell all night long.

"I chose to read them 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 instead; Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with THE TRUTH! It always protects, it always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails.

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January 3, 2007 -Excerpted from Memoirs of a Nice Irish-American 'Girl' in occupied Territory, Chapter 7: Brother V. © Copyright 01/03/07 Eileen fleming. Permission is granted for reprint in print, email, blog, or web media if this credit is attached and the title remains unchanged. WAWA@WeAreWideAwake.org