Michael Collins
(Satire)

White House Press Secretary, Robert "the mole" Gibbs, was outed last night for his lead role in throwing the 2010 congressional election to the Republican Party. The White House refused to return calls to comment on the charge or verify the outline of the carefully orchestrated plot. But a variety of off the record sources spoke as one - the plot is real and has been going on long before the 2008 general election. The scope of the plot goes well beyond the upcoming congressional contests.

In a recent interview for The Hill newspaper, Gibbs used an entirely new technique in election tactics - offend and humiliate a key element of your voting block right before a critical election. Gibbs ridiculed progressives as part of the "Professional Left" and said, “They will be satisfied when we have Canadian health care and we’ve eliminated the Pentagon. That’s not reality.” Research indicates that this approach has never been used within 90 days of a general election.

But the story goes much deeper than simple electoral politics. The planned outburst has a short term benefit for Republicans but, as we will see, Gibbs is reporting to a higher authority.

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